One year from now, my life is going to be completely different.
Every year it changes, but never in such a dramatic way.
I've had a really bad week.
On the surface, things have been fine; routine.
But on the inside, I am breaking down.
I have been stressing over scholarships & financial aid.
I guess that's where it all starts.
Worst of all though, I keep thinking about my friends.
I have a lot of people I call friends, but only a handful of them are my true ones.
I am so scared to move away and weaken those friendships.
I haven't been myself this week.
I am over analyzing everything.
Well, to be honest, I guess that is normally how I am.
It's not because I am obsessive; it is just because I care.
Does anyone else really care?
I mean, I feel like the only one freaking out over all this stuff right now.
It makes me feel weak, and stupid.
I wish I could just sit down my close friends and tell them what they mean to me.
But, in reality I'm sure I would just look ridiculous.
I am so afraid of this whole growing up thing.
I have lost myself trying to discover what I want to be.
Now I am just a mess of emotions.
Sometimes I can't believe people actually still spend time with me.
I fought with one of my best friends over the weekend over something stupid.
We "made up" but things are still kind of weird.
I feel lame letting it get to me so much because I know he could care less.
But it really has. And I just want to tell him that I need him in my life.
Things really suck right now.
I wish that all the weirdness around me could just go away.
I want to go out and have fun and be happy.
But for some reason it just isn't happening.
I'm sorry this post is so depressing.
On a lighter note, I am having a girl's night tonight!
Riley, one of my best friends, and I are getting our nails done,
renting a redbox movie, and eatingRed Mango!
We both need to feel better, pronto.
Hopefully tonight will be the cure.
xoxo Emma
