Good

I believe that on average people are normally good. There is not one person I hate in this world. It just hurts to see friends change and make choices that are not beneficial. It hurts to try so hard to be there, and have things come crashing down.
It has obviously been a rough week. And I am really blue. Meltdowns are no fun. Allergies & swollen eyes are equally no fun. But I can not just list the bad. So here's some good stuff for ya!

I got to see my best friend off to prom yesterday! She looked completely beautiful! I had a lot of fun, being there for her and taking some photographs. I got to babysit her siblings after (8 of them!) which I always love.  I got my 2nd batch of SAT scores. All together I have a 1730! & I raised my math score! Time to dance for joy!! The best thing about this week and realizing that I have the greatest friends. When I'm blue and down on myself, they're always there to cheer me up! I'm so thankful for that.

Speaking of, I'm off to the Museum of Fine Arts with my dear friend Douglas! It will be a lovely day!

Do you need a laugh?

This is great. I really needed a laugh today and this did it!

WEEZER

Did I tell you I went to see Weezer last Thursday night? I guess you could say it was my first official concert for someone famous. So that was pretty cool. Plus I love Weezer. They were amazing, and it was a great time!

I went with my friend Julie who originally told me about it, so I'm really glad she did. Because we had fun, jammin' and gossipin' and such. Friend's with great music taste are the best!

What If..?

I think about the future a lot. & I mean a lot.

College? Yes. I think I want to go.

But something has been itching at the back of my mind.

What do I most want to do?

I'll tell you.

I want to help people. I want to do something good.

So here it is. What if I joined the Peace Corps?

Or some sort of service program.

I think I would really like to do that.

Just another something to throw into the future mix.

By the way, I am sick of high school.

Everyone is mean and ridiculous.

I am done with it all, & summer needs to come faster.

I need a 3 month vacation from those kids.

Also, I need to graduate.

Oh, life. Why must you make me feel this way?

Time to plaster a fake smile and suck it up.

Again.

Music Crush

Nothing

How did I spend my do-nothing Saturday? I made a prom photo collage for my mom & my date's mom. Then I made an 8 x 10 of Charlotte for her mom. Ohh moms.

Going through alll my photos makes me antsy for a photoshoot. Man, I really should become a photographer because I love this. And crave it. Weird.

Besides brushing up on my editting skills, I did absolutely nothing today. I slept till 11, took a shower, ate breakfast, fooled around on the computer, attempted to read, then went to Bertucci's for dinner. Needless to say, it's been a wonderful day.

I really needed a do-nothing day.

Music Crush

A Lovely Start

Wellll, I got to work today, and my shift was canceled (: So I went home, sat in the beautiful sun, made a delicious dinner for the boys @ home (mumma's on a business trip), snuggled with Fritzy, sang at the top of my lungs, & did some laundry.

I'd say I had a pretty great start to my do-nothing weekend.

Happy, Kind Of

AP TEST: DONE!

I am so relieved, but still kind of nervous. I missed the last 4 mulitple choice questions because I ran out of time. Also, my essays sucked. But, I am a perfectionist, so maybe they weren't as bad as I think. I just want a 3, if I have a 3 I will be happy. If by some crazy chance I get a 4 I will be ecstatic.

For breakfast I had a double yolked egg, so I think that was a sign of good luck. Cross your fingers for me!

This picture is from a few weeks ago. It was one of the funnest days I've had in a long while. I spent the day with my friends Haley and Sam doing a photoshoot on the beach. I'll upload some of those because I don't think I have yet. We had a lovely time, and I can't wait to do it again!

Anyways, now that I have finished with all this SAT and AP bologna, I can work on finishing up the school year, getting my liscense (long overdue), and losing weight! All this stress and extra eating and no time for exercise has left me in bad shape. The great part is the pool is finally open! So yay for swimming!

I am going to relax, treat myself to some victory ice cream, and some That 70's Show. Yeah, I know, the ice cream isn't such a hot start to this diet. Well, there's always tomorrow!!

Kennedys'

"Whenever I was upset by something in the papers, Jack always told me to be more tolerant, like a horse flicking away flies in the summer."

"There are many little ways to enlarge your child's world. Love of books is the best of all."

"Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes."

~Jackie Kennedy.

Today we went to the John F. Kennedy Library in Boston for a field trip, and my friend and I are obsessed with Jackie. I'm almost positive our classmates find us totally weird. But, I don't care much.

Jackie is just such a classic, strong, elegant, creative woman. How can you not love her? Also, hilarious. I mean check out that last quote! Oh, but let's not forget her gorgeous husband. His a pretty cool guy too...

"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men."

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

"I'm an idealist without illusions."

~JFK.

I am so glad my friend appreciates history like I do. We had a lovely day gushing over the Kennedy's and I am so excited for the fun things we have planned for the summer. I love you Alicia!

Big Girls Don't Cry

I need to keep it together. I'm almost there. I will rock that AP Test, if it's the last thing I do.

It's Mother's Day!

I love my mum. She is the greatest woman I know.
I am incredibly lucky to have such a great mom.
I lovee her sooo much! Happy Mommy's Day Lorelai!

Saturday is a ...Special Day?

6:00- wake up & take shower
6:45- throw on some sweats, & eat a good breakfast to keep me full and focused
7:30- go to the school
8:00-1:00- rock the SATs like it's my job
1:00- devour a sandwich in 3.5 seconds
1:25- leave for work
1:45-6- hallmark, on the day before mother's day. oh boy
6:15- go to Alicia's & watch pokemon
8:00- play Michael Jackson experience with Liam
9:00- make random videos & play with josh's mac.
11:15- home for the evening.

What a successful day. Despite all my worries and freakout-worthy events, I feel surprisingly hopefully and on the verge of contentment. SATs are over, hopefully for the last time! I have my fingers and toes crossed that I raised my score.

The AP test is Wednesday, but I feel good right now. I don't want to dwell on that just yet. Leave that stress for tomorrow. I think I will go to bed now because man, I deserve it.

Music Crush

This Week

SAT's on Saturday.
AP Test next Wednesday.
workstudyworkstudyworkstudy.

This is what I have been working towards. I am scared beyond my wit's end. I realize how lame it may seem, to get so worked up over these tests but I take them very seriously. I am going to be in that hair pulling-stomach churning-nervous wreck state for the next week & 1/2.

I feel like I might be a tad dramatic because the truth is I probably won't do terrible. I am just a perfectionist, and I want to be perfect.

Wish me luck on my life! Not only do I have big tests to study for, but I have the usually tedious work/homework, & this week my friends decided to throw a bunch of drama into the mix. Fun stuff.

I'm just looking towards summer. The end is in sight. Junior year will not be missed in the slightest.

In a World of my Own

I suppose if I could have it my way, I would just sit on the porch in the sun reading.
I mean, wouldn't that be a lovely way to spend time?

Instead of worrying about SATs and AP exams
Instead of stressing over work and college
Instead of feeling blue and sick
Instead of everything.

One of my absolute favorite books is Alice in Wonderland.
I want to have my own wonderland.
A place I could just escape to without worry.

Do you see a theme in this post?
I'm over-the-top worried about my life.
Yay for being a teenager at the craziest time.

A to Z

I stole this from my lovely friend Lauren. Check her out @ http://laurenendicott.blogspot.com/. She's a pretty cool cat. Alright, here goes...

Age: 16

Bed size: rather small

Chore you hate: cleaning my room. It takes ages!

Dogs: Fritz! My cute, big, cuddly doggy.

Essential start to your day: cranberry juice & a warm shower.

Favorite color: torn between red, green, & mustard yellow.

Gold or Silver: Silver dahling.

Height: 5'8

Instrument: flute, piano, & hopefully ukulele and geetar.

Job Title: "Sales Associate" & "Receptionist"

Kids: ha.

Live: new england.

Mom's name: Deana.

Nickname: I don't really have one. Emma is short enough I guess.

Overnight hospital stays: so far, none.

Pet peeves: arrogance, among many things.

Quote from a movie: "I love you, I'll call you in 5 minutes"
-Buddy the Elf

Right-handed or left-handed: lefty!

Siblings: Ben & Peter.

Time you wake up: 4:45 every weekday.

Underwear: yes, I wear underwear...?

Vegetables you dislike: I love veggies!

What makes you run late: Changing my outfit. Or my family dilly-dallying.

X-rays: my mouth, my back, my arm.

Yummy food you make: chocolate peanut butter bars. numnumyumyumyum.

Zoo animal: elephants, they are the cutest things.

Rawr

Ok, I need to vent. I cannot STAND when people assume they know you when in actual reality, they haven't got a clue who you really are. I honestly don't know how I come off as to other people. Some think I'm stuck up while others think I am extremely innocent. But really, I am neither of those things. I am just a person trying to live my life. I don't bother anyone and most of the time people don't bother me. I usually keep to myself, but if something important to me is thrown into the conversation, I speak up. It just drives me crazy when people assume I am a certain way because of my religion, or my family, or any other thing. Things happen in my life and I learn. Hello, that is how it is for everyone. This is probably why I keep to myself, I just cannot stand people sometimes. Ok vent over.

Oh boy. This picture is a little too hipster.

Today I sort of got a reality check.
I had no idea how distracted I've been this past term.
I've been floating around, just like a zombie.
School is not going so hot.
So I guess I've really got to work on that.

On the brighter side of life, my roadtrip is in two weeks!
My mum, my brother, & I are hitting the road as soon as april vacation starts.
We are visiting friends, looking at colleges, and visiting our nation's capital!
I am totally stoked. I've never been.
I'm also going to test out my diana camera,
and of course bring around my lovely old gal as well.
It will be a full week of mixed tapes, pb&j's, and loveliness.
I can not wait.

I am trying to keep as positive as possible about this final stretch.
Summer is creepin' in, but I need to stay focused.
& although I can't wait for summer, I don't want it coming to quick.
Because truthfully, I'm scared of growing up to fast.

Lately I'm really unsure of where I am headed.
I mean what am I working at?
I don't know where I want to go, or what I want to do.
I give things so much effort and end up with less than I expect.
It sounds whiny and selfish,
but I just want to be amazing.

I just want to do something and be amazing at it. I want to be the best.

I realize that sounds terrible, but it would be really nice. It would make me feel good anyway.

Anyways, life is exciting and scary, but I'm surviving. Things always seem worse than they are, and you know what? I am almost there. So I am going to rub some dirt in it, and just relax.

Have a lovely weekend!

Florence + the Machine

This is my favortie music video ever. Florence is just a vision and I adore the autumn colors.