This basically sums up how I feel.

Actually it summarizes how January in Idaho is. 

Today I STRESSED. So I jamba'd, I overdosed on sunflower seeds, & 

I splurged on carob covered almonds.

I haven't cured my stress eating but at least I've improved the quality of the food right?

Sorta, kinda healthy right?

But seriously, I think discovering yoga class out here is the only good thing to happen recently.

A Little Blerp

I think that someday I will regret posting photos like these.

For now though, it's whatever.

As I've been pulling myself together this past week,

I've been getting myself pumped.

Mostly for summer, but I'm also trying to focus on the present.

I think I just need to vent it out right now.

I am 23 pounds from my goal.

THAT IS IT.

And I keep getting discouraged and losing hope.

But looking back on this whole journey, 

I've done pretty damn well.

No, you know what I've done friggin amazing.

This has been the hardest thing I have ever done.

Mostly mentally, but honestly my whole outlook on life has changed. 

I'm a new person and I've come so far.

But I am always going to be self conscious.

I am always going to feel like the fat girl.

But I will never BE the fat girl again.

Because I honestly LOVE nutrition and I even enjoy fitness. 

This semester I have been stressed out HARDCORE.

My classes are so much more work this time around and they are harder.

And I want to make Operation Hot my first priority again,

but it is just proving to be too much.

The other issue is the weather. It is so unbearably cold in ID.

It makes me way hungrier. I think that also has to do with the stress.

I know these excuses sound trivial,

but last semester I was used to being able to workout for much longer.

And the thing is, I am fine with maintaining exercise and a healthy diet,

I just wish that I had more time to do more exercise!

Once I reach my goal weight, things will get easier.

Because maintaining is much easier than trying to lose all this fat.

And now that I am getting closer, it is getting harder.

BLAHHHHHHHH

I don't even know where I was going with this post.

Okay so the point is, things just aren't as awesome right now as I wish.

But I'm doing okay. I am shooting for 5 miles a day on the elliptical,

some weight work, and yoga.

Also I am working in regular squats, triangle push-ups, planks, & bicycle crunches.

If possible, I would like to lose 13 pounds before the end of the semester.

But most importantly I am just making sure I incorporate exercise into my daily schedule.

That is the most important. And obviously my school work.

The summer is go time though. I am getting all sorts of ideas for warmer weather workouts!

Also, I am cutting out peanut butter for the month of February. CRAZY I KNOW!

I am just going to keep going. That is all you can really do. 

I just want to say, I AM grateful for my progress.

And I am grateful for all the knowledge I have gained.

I am grateful for my body and all it is capable of. 

 Sometimes you just need to take a selfy.

& I do apologize for my look.

I just didn't feel like reapplying make-up after the gym,

you know what I mean?

This week has been signifigantly better than the last few.

I've got a more structured plan and goals;

all that crazy adult stuff!

I am just so excited to keep pushing through

and see where life takes me. 

Even in frigid Idaho things aren't so bad!

They could definitely be better,

but I am getting there! 

MORE CLOTHING FOR SALE

 Large Victoria Secret yoga pants $10

 Large Victoria Secret yoga pants $10

Large Victoria Secret yoga pants $10

 AK Large Black pleated knee-length skirt $10

 New York & Company XL maxi skirt $10

 L maxi skirt $13

 Levi's 14/32 straight leg jeans $10

 New York & Company size 16 knee length skirt 

 Arizona jeans size 15 long $10

 Lauren Conrad size 16 bootcut jeans $10

 American Rag size 13 straight leg jeans $10

 medium skirt $12

 H & M cotton pants Large $5

H & M cotton jeans size 12 $8

212 size 14 long black skirt $15

east 5th size 14 long black skirt $15

New York & Company XL high low skirt $15

Decree size 13 skinny gray jeans $15

Decree size 13 skinny dark blue jean $15

CLOTHES FOR SALE

XXL blue paisley shirt $5

 Old Navy size L summer tee $5

 Old Navy XL white tee $5

 H & M blue tunic $12

 New York & Company size S gray sweater $8

 Vintage Paisley Rose Long Dress size 8 $13

 Charlotte Russe Large sleeveless blue blouse $5

 H & M size 12 purple tee $5

 Worthington Large rainbow stretch blouse $7

 size 18  $15

 H & M size 14 long sleeve 60's dress $15

 Forever 21 Large cardigan $10

 XXL nightdress $8

 Scarf $5

 Downeast XXL navy blue long dress $15

 Old Navy Medium gray shrug $5

 H & M Large B & W sweater $13

 white tee $5

 Victoria's Secret striped teal tunic $8

 Vintage size 18 button up long dress $13

 Vintage 80's blouse $5

 Old Navy XL long sleeve, long green dress $14

 Vintage button up dress Size 18 $13

 Target XXL patterned dress $8

 H & M medium knitted sweater $15

 oversized sweater $15

 Large sweater $14

 H & M size 12 cardigan $8

 Vintage dress size 14 $10

 white blouse $5

 Worthington L stretch blouse $5

 Charlotte Russe XL blouse $7

 XL gray cardigan $10

 Charlotte Russe XL crop top $5

 Old Navy XL winter coat $35

 black XL cardigan $10

 Forever 21 crop top sweater $8

Large red sweater $7