A Little Blerp

I think that someday I will regret posting photos like these.

For now though, it's whatever.

As I've been pulling myself together this past week,

I've been getting myself pumped.

Mostly for summer, but I'm also trying to focus on the present.

I think I just need to vent it out right now.

I am 23 pounds from my goal.

THAT IS IT.

And I keep getting discouraged and losing hope.

But looking back on this whole journey, 

I've done pretty damn well.

No, you know what I've done friggin amazing.

This has been the hardest thing I have ever done.

Mostly mentally, but honestly my whole outlook on life has changed. 

I'm a new person and I've come so far.

But I am always going to be self conscious.

I am always going to feel like the fat girl.

But I will never BE the fat girl again.

Because I honestly LOVE nutrition and I even enjoy fitness. 

This semester I have been stressed out HARDCORE.

My classes are so much more work this time around and they are harder.

And I want to make Operation Hot my first priority again,

but it is just proving to be too much.

The other issue is the weather. It is so unbearably cold in ID.

It makes me way hungrier. I think that also has to do with the stress.

I know these excuses sound trivial,

but last semester I was used to being able to workout for much longer.

And the thing is, I am fine with maintaining exercise and a healthy diet,

I just wish that I had more time to do more exercise!

Once I reach my goal weight, things will get easier.

Because maintaining is much easier than trying to lose all this fat.

And now that I am getting closer, it is getting harder.

BLAHHHHHHHH

I don't even know where I was going with this post.

Okay so the point is, things just aren't as awesome right now as I wish.

But I'm doing okay. I am shooting for 5 miles a day on the elliptical,

some weight work, and yoga.

Also I am working in regular squats, triangle push-ups, planks, & bicycle crunches.

If possible, I would like to lose 13 pounds before the end of the semester.

But most importantly I am just making sure I incorporate exercise into my daily schedule.

That is the most important. And obviously my school work.

The summer is go time though. I am getting all sorts of ideas for warmer weather workouts!

Also, I am cutting out peanut butter for the month of February. CRAZY I KNOW!

I am just going to keep going. That is all you can really do. 

I just want to say, I AM grateful for my progress.

And I am grateful for all the knowledge I have gained.

I am grateful for my body and all it is capable of.