Okay I've rethought my freak out. This is the perfect time to dream and make changes. Visualize the goal and work for results. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. 

Bad day

I'm having a really bad day. I'm at the doctors and I am back at my highest weight ever. I'm crying in the doctors office right now. I'm embarrassed in so many ways. I know that this outburst and this weight is the effects of depression but it doesn't change how miserable I feel. I'm trying to have hope. It's just so so hard right now. 

I'm praying for strength that I can commit to this juice cleanse and flush out all my toxins and negative thoughts. I need a miracle right now because I really don't feel strong. 

Bad day

I'm having a really bad day. I'm at the doctors and I am back at my highest weight ever. I'm crying in the doctors office right now. I'm embarrassed in so many ways. I know that this outburst and this weight is the effects of depression but it doesn't change how miserable I feel. I'm trying to have hope. It's just so so hard right now. 

I'm praying for strength that I can commit to this juice cleanse and flush out all my toxins and negative thoughts. I need a miracle right now because I really don't feel strong. 

Sicky pop

I can't believe it's Wednesday. What a week. I came down with the flu while I was babysitting Monday night and then I spent Tuesday entirely in bed with a yucky fever. Today I made it to the couch for some doggie cuddles and classic movies (can you say Anne of Green Gables?) I could complain about this sucky situation but I actually think it is the perfect opportunity to set the reset button. A few dear friends of mine have been on a juice cleanse for TWENTY days. TWENTY! They have lost a bunch of weight and boosted their energy. 

I've been reading about natural cures for depression and a really big help is riding excess toxins from the body. I know that my diet lately has not been great. I've definitely gone from clean eating to S.A.D. (Standard American Diet.) So a cleanse sounds like just what I need right now! 

Although weight loss would be nice, I'm more concerned with gaining energy and a stronger body. Better skin and a slimmer body would just be the cherry on top! I need to go shopping but I'm hoping to begin this weekend. Wish me luck! 

Happy

The only person who is in control of my happiness is me. I need to find my spark again. My zest for life. I've got so much to do after all. 

Progress

I'm currently nursing a knarly migraine while my brother pounds the drums. Needless to say I'm ready to move out again. 

Today I finally made it back to the gym. It was not the best workout ever, but I'm proud of myself for taking the first step. It was challenging, but I really need to improve my health. This time around it is more about my mental health! 

I'm feeling really good about this week! I started having somewhere to be everyday and I get paid to watch some awesome kids. I've set some goals and am striving to put myself on a better path. Progress! 

Music Crush

Rumblings

My wittle babies. I'm not going to be a cat lady. Ill be a dog lady I swear. 

I've been trying to make small simple changes in my life this week and I'm doing pretty good. With depression you mostly want to curl into a ball and just sleep, but I'm avoiding that and trying to work and go out and do something with my life! It's hard to get started but I'm trying to stay inspired and keep the faith.  

Music Crush

Snowed In

Current weight: 1,000,000 lbs. 

Today was frigid and we spent the day snowed in. I read some of my book, deep cleaned my room, cooked dinner, & walked the dogs. Yes it's not much, but I look for the good in everyday. Recognizing what I accomplish makes me feel stronger. 

I'm going to start cleansing my body tomorrow. I've got a ridiculous amount of fat that has accumulated over the past few months, and I'm ready to burn it away. I'm in control!